rpf (ryoga's pathetic feelings)
by Pencilwalla
Summary: ryoga goes to a convention, yuuma does shark cosplay, and fangirls ship it like burning. no spoilers. gross sharkbait.


"It wasn't that bad, was it?" Rio asked.

"Someone asked me what my ideal wife would be like."

That hadn't even been the worst question. Ryoga had been asked four times, by increasingly hostile attendees, about his cheating in the Nationals. (Yuuma had defended him. In fact, he'd gotten so worked up about how _'Shark's duel was real'_ that the audience had started clapping.) Someone had asked what was wrong with his hair. And to top it all off, IV had showed up, because he was an asshole, asked about his 'lovely sister', and it had taken all of Ryoga's self-control to not punch his smug face in.

Rio didn't need to know that, though. She seemed to think IV was…amusing.

"And?"

"And I told them I was gay and made them sit down!"

"Ryoga." Rio said disapprovingly.

Ryoga shrugged. What was he supposed to have said? The fan had asked him about his ideal wife as if that was a normal question. He was sixteen and single, and she'd been staring at him as if she hoped the answer was going to be 'someone in Shark cosplay'.

He flushed as he remembered that Yuuma had shown up for the panel in just that** –** complete with clothes he'd stolen from Ryoga's closet. It had weird to see him without his shrimpy hair.

_Weirdly cute,_ the traitorous, hormonal part of his brain supplied.

"I take it you liked Yuuma's outfit?" Rio said. She smiled slyly.

"That was _you?_"

"He was going to go as Ten Ten Tempo again, but then I told him some people cosplay duelists they admire. He then insisted that _of course_ it had to be you," Rio sighed, "He wouldn't shut up about how cool you were, and how much he admired you, and he might have slipped up and asked if your clothes would make him handsome…"

**'**Handsome**'** was not the word Ryoga would have used. Yuuma had borrowed his old white shirt and purple vest from his first run at the Nationals, and Ryoga had been mostly distracted by increasingly inappropriate fantasies.

(The shirt was a little bit big, and the sleeves were too long, and Ryoga could imagine Yuuma showing up at his house in the middle of night, soaking wet, and of course Ryoga would have to offer him something to wear, and he'd look so cute in Ryoga's clothes that he'd overcome all his gross insecurities and…kiss…]

_I am not attracted to Yuuma Tsukumo_, he told himself firmly, and then he groaned. It hadn't been convincing when he had to force himself to pay attention to the fans and their questions instead of to Yuuma, and it wasn't convincing now.

"Are you going to tell me about the panel or moon over Yuuma for the rest of the day?"

"Shut up." Ryoga grumbled. "It was weird. Everyone stared."

"You have quite the fanba—" Rio was cut off by a girl in – of course – Shark cosplay, complete with a rather good replica necklace. Ryoga flinched as she ran up to him, hands clasped together.

"Excuse me, Shark-sama," she said, "but I missed your panel – can I please ask you a question?"

"I…" Ryoga wanted to refuse, but Rio was staring daggers at him over the girl's shoulder. "Fine, whatever."

"Um…sorry if this is personal, but…ah…what would your ideal girlfriend be like?"

"Seriously?"

"Oh, no, I'm so sorry!"

"I'm gay." Ryoga said. How could two people have the same ridiculous question in one day? Was this what having fans was like? Because he didn't want them.

"Oh my god." She covered her mouth with her hands. "My…my fanfics are canon!"

"Your _what,_" Ryoga said, because he had a sudden, horrifying idea of what kind of fanfiction she was talking about. He had made the mistake of going looking for it once, out of curiosity, and stumbled onto porn starring him and IV, and studiously avoided that part of the internet ever since.

"N-nothing!" She fled before Ryoga could manage another word, and Rio stifled a giggle while he tried to decide whether or not it was worth being traumatized for life. Part of him wanted to know what the hell she was talking about, but he also never wanted to read the words 'and then IV fucked him hard' ever again.

"Hey, was that a fan?"

_Speak of the devil_, Ryoga miserably thought as Yuuma appeared, right in the middle of his wondering if there was porn featuring them on the Internet. He looked away for a moment, just so he wouldn't say anything ridiculous, while Yuuma linked arms with him and started marching him away.

Why had he allowed Yuuma to convince to come here again? Oh, right, Yuuma had just kept saying 'but Shaaaark' until he gave in like the loser he was.

Rio made herself scarce (traitor), and the fan who'd approached him stopped midstep, spotted Yuuma beside him, and came back.

"Um, excuse me, Yuuma, but could I have your autograph?"

"Me?" Yuuma grinned, and whipped out a pen. "Of course! Where should I sign?"

The fan pulled a small notebook out of her pants pocket, and while Yuuma started to messily scrawl his name and probably 'kattobingu' but spelled incorrectly, the fan spoke up.

"I'm Emi…wow, it's so exciting to see both of you at once…I mean, you're my OTP and – I mean, I'm just a big fan!"

Well, Ryoga thought, _that_ answered the question of whether there was Yuuma/Shark porn out there in the universe. He knew what he was doing as soon as he was home alone.

"It's nice to meet you, Emi!" Yuuma handed her back the notebook and held out his hand expectantly, and Emi blushed tomato red as she shook his hand. "Did you want Shark's autograph, too?"

"Oh, could I?"

"Of course." Yuuma shoved the notebook into his hands, and Ryoga sighed, hoping she wasn't expecting a personalized message or anything. All she was getting was his name, and maybe 'Shark' in the middle if she was lucky.

"We're doing the same cosplay! Isn't that cool?"

Emi nodded. "Yours is really great. Where did you get it?"

"Mine's the real thing. I got it from Shark's house," Yuuma bragged.

"I can't believe you stole my clothes." He grumbled.

"It's fine, isn't it?" Yuuma said, in the same tone he used when he stole Ryoga's food, needed help with homework even if Ryoga had taught him the same thing three times already, and invited himself over for sleepovers.[NO5] "Hey, you should do a cosplay of me!"

"Yeah, and then I could pretend to not know what a trap card is to make believable."

"Hey!"

"So cute," Emi whispered, eyes shining, and Ryoga hurriedly threw the notebook back at her. She drifted off with an "Excuse me…", and Yuuma waved goodbye, completely oblivious to what she was implying about them.

For a moment, Ryoga seriously considered ditching Yuuma so he could research gay RPF fanfiction on his phone.

"Hey, can I get your picture?" Someone came up to Yuuma with a camera, and Ryoga stepped back, hoping to escape notice.

"Sure! Wait, hang on." Yuuma took a step back, stuck his nose up in the air, put his hands on his hips, and made a ridiculous face, like he was trying to look tough. "Okay, how's this?"

"Great! You look just like Shark!"

"I look nothing like that," Ryoga snapped, and then he flinched as the guy with the camera whipped around to look at him.

"Holy shit," the cameraman breathed. "You're actually – can you guys pose together?"

"Yeah!"

"No," Ryoga tried to say, but it was wasted effort. Yuuma jumped onto him from behind and rested his chin on his shoulder, so that Ryoga had to grab him under the knees to keep him from falling off. Yuuma was warm against his back, with his hips pressed right up against him, and was still wearing his clothes. It almost made up for all the humiliation he'd inflicted on Ryoga that day, with his being cute everywhere and making Ryoga think filthy things about him. Not to mention the fact that this picture was probably going to all over the internet.

"On the count of three," the cameraman said, but now they had attracted a crowd.

"One…two…"

"Don't get involved with me!" Yuuma yelled, in a terrible imitation of Ryoga's voice, just as the cameras started to flash.

"That isn't what I sound like," Ryoga tried to protest, but it was too late; people were whispering and repeating what Yuuma had just said, and giggling ,and that girl who'd gotten his autograph earlier looked like she was taking notes. He was probably going to have people yelling 'don't get involved with me' at him for the rest of the convention (or worse yet, for the rest of his life).

_That gay fanfiction had better be worth all this._


End file.
